Year Three: Communication Breakdown

Year Three: Communication Breakdown

This will be the hardest relationship series to write as I have experienced this first hand which put me in a really bad place. 

Disclaimer: Every relationship is different.

Any advice given is what I personally think will help.

For anyone experiencing communication breakdown, I wish you all the best and hope my blog helps you and your partner in some way.  

PT3.5

You never thought your relationship would get to this point.

Everything was great, why did things have to change? Was it you, or him

Did you both contribute to the breakdown, if so how?

We all know communication is key in any relationship, and without it, you’re bound to face a series of complications.

It almost feels like you’re losing your best friend, and everything you dreamed and wanted with this person is slipping away in front you, and you have no idea how to fix it. 

It’s so easy to blame the other person and almost dislike them because you feel it’s their fault. 

When realistically you should be focusing on getting back on track regardless of who/what caused the breakdown. 

Have you felt like a broken record, constantly screaming at your partner for change but they’re just not getting it?

Constantly crying and expecting change to happen, but it’s only getting worse? – Yup been there, it’s the worst feeling in the world for you but also them.

No one wants to see their partner hurt emotionally, mentally and sometimes physically. 

You both clearly need space to fix what’s been broken. 

Space works very well if you’re both HONESTLY working on being a better person for YOURSELF…. I REPEAT… YOURSELF. 

There is no point changing for a few weeks or months, then you’re back to the same routine of no communication, arguments and confusion. 

This cycle usually happens if you or partner prefer to start a fresh without resolving issues, which may be the reason to why you are disconnected to start with. (In my opinion) 

No way should you or anyone think being a better person for someone else’s happiness is the key to a successful relationship. 

You are potentially burning yourself out to satisfy your significant other, pretending to be something you’re not will NOT LAST FOREVER, the real you WILL make it’s appearance and trust me, you’ve only made your relationship worse. 

Don’t get me wrong, you can learn skills to develop yourself for your partner such as:

  1. Communication – Being open and honest 
  2. Being considerate – Understanding each other’s tolerance levels
  3. Forgiveness – Learning to move on and not hold grudges
  4. Gratitude – Expressing your appreciation for your partner 

If your personas are no longer compatible stop fighting each other and do right for each other. Be friends and move on. (If that’s something you can agree to do) 

Be thankful for the memories and lessons learnt from your partner, and respect each other without having bad blood. 

You don’t want to stay in an unhappy relationship where you may start resenting your partner, being disrespectful or immature. 

End on good terms, just in case there was a possibility in the future to pick up where you left off.

If you still respect each other you’re more inclined to explore your options.

(You may still have their number too lol) 

Your health, happiness and self-respect is more important than any toxic relationship.

ALWAYS put yourself first. 

There are a few things you could try to help your communication breakdown:

1.Couples counselling

This allows you to work on your problems together and separately to see if there is a chance of happiness again.

This can be expensive, if you cannot afford it, speak to a friend who will give a non bias opinion on your relationship. 

Try to avoid speaking to family, this can get very personal and cause more problems in the long run. 

2. STOP assuming 

Stop assuming what you think your partner wants, ask questions to know what you have to work on if you want a happy relationship. 

Never allow your emotions to get the better of you, this is causing more harm than good. 

Always be sure of one’s feelings before acting out for no reason. 

Acting out for no reason will come across very childish which will not help get your boo back. 

3. Respect each other’s space.

You both need time to think about what you want. 

Breaks are healthy for you to get your mind right, as well as giving each other time to miss each other. 

Once you realise how much you can’t live without your partner you’ll find a way to communicate your emotions to start again. 

Try emailing your babe or be old school and send each other letters, try to bring your romance back to where it all started. 

If the above advice doesn’t work it may be best to go your separate ways, breakups are never easy and takes time to get over. 

With the right support system, you’ll be ok and bounce back sooner thank you think.

Practice Self Love and enjoy ‘me’ time.

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