Happy Side Chick Day

Hey MVR’s

Welcome back to another post filled with real life relationship (or situationship)  humour us ladies and gents can all relate too.

This blog is kinda late as your ‘Boyfriend’ will usually call/message in the afternoon, as he had to dedicate his night and morning to his main girl lol.

In my last post “Championship – Valentine’s Day Special” I explained why Wifey’s are winning…Go Twinnnnn, and why Delusional Dionne’s and Fun Felicia should take a seat and let all Feb 14th Gals enjoy their day.


Now Wifey’s…. Some of you may be able to relate to this once upon a time, but this post is for the ladies who enjoy celebrating half priced chocolates and used D from last night.

It may not be fair to some ladies who have no clue their side pieces… but hopefully this post might help you realise you’re ‘Boyfriend’ is working a zero hour contract on your feelings right now.

Before I shade anyone on this post…. I’VE BEEN A SIDE CHICK…. YES….. Chloe has been lost in the sauce, River Nile and Atlantic ocean by a guy’s lies and deceit.

Obviously I had no idea I was the side chick because look at me… I’m 100% 10/10.

Plus he spent a lot of time being with me, so only God knows where he found the time to be with the other girl.

This guy was clearly being immature and wanted to enjoy the benefits of being with two women. 


 But the gag is… I have the last laugh because he’s single, barely making ends meet, he’s got a receding hairline and his mother just kicked him out  soooooooooooooo……. 

(Don’t you  just love meeting up with your ex’s parents whilst in Tesco… Ahhh, Every little helps ay)

Anyway, imma leave that last sentence right there and let you finish it off because I don’t play with the Devils children. lol

BUT I will say this…. When an ex that gave you HELL starts calling, messaging and trying to make his way back into your life… Please ignore him.

All that’s happened is his new girl was tired of his crap, so he’s coming back to create more drama in your life.

Not today Satan… not today!!


As horrible as this may sound, we have two types of side chicks.

They almost resemble Wifey Fluffer’s, here we go again.

Side chick options are as follows;



1. Oblivious Olivia

Well, well, well….. What do we have here.

A very foolish guy, playing big man and showing off to his friends that he’s juggling two (or more) girls at once.

The poor girl/woman has no idea she’s being used, now you may think “How can she not know.. Chlo, she knows what she’s doing”

But trust me, majority of the time these guys are introducing these girls to their family (Parents are the worst FYI, they will meet their sons 4 girlfriends and talk you like you’re the only one) That is what I call Wotless Parents.

Let my son come and disgrace his manhood like that in front off me and his father… He wont know himself after that moment, I’m blowing up his spot, packing his bags (If he lives with us) and sending him packing.

I will not tolerate slackness in my house.

But yeah, before I got heated, these little boys will gain your trust by introducing you to their friends and family so you feel accepted and important.

It’s 2018 babe, meeting someone’s parents means nothing in this day and age – Please remember that.

This fool has got you so weak with his lies, affection and attention that you think he’s the one.

He’s making promises you think will last a lifetime, you think he’s your forever until his woman has done her investigation and found your number and “uh uh uh oooooooh” (Lumidee voice) she knocks some sense into you realising you’re not the only one.

Or he accidently slips up and you see sense and realise that he’s a compulsive liar.

You call these type of guys womanisers, they are usually insecure men who pray on naïve/ insecure women to boost their ego when they’re not getting what they want from their main.

Or because they have underlying issues which need to be rectified quickly before someone’s dad,  brother or friend rectifies his face lol.

Olivia usually ends up hating the guy and the girlfriend (if she gets involved) and finds it’s hard to trust guys going forward.

Look at life… some guys are ruining good girls because of their own problems.



2. Fully Aware Franny

These type of girls make me sick cos they know what the hell they’re doing.

They’re fully sleeping with someone’s man and enjoying it.

This aint not no SZA – Weekend type ting, these type of girls are admit for the guy to leave the girlfriend so they become No.1

Imagine that, they’re happy to be the Fully Aware Franny, but still want wifey status.

FRANNY, ARE YOU DUMB? You’re basically a Dionne with sense smh.

The sad part about Franny is she may of been an Olivia once upon a time, but due to countless failed relationships and betrayal, she’s given up being Mrs goody and joined the wotless girls gang.

And if you’ve never been an Olivia type of girl then you’re just nasty – No one can change my mind on my opinion.

Franny’s can be around for years… I know a Franny who has been a side chick for 10yrs and counting.

The man has had two kids during this 10yr confusing love affair and she’s still leaching on like a fool.

Guys love a Franny type chick cos they are fake ride or dies.

Yessss FAKE cos they are only pretending to be down for the cause because they are waiting to be NO.1, not knowing they will NEVER see that position – Yup NEVER lmao!!

The guys main could die (Sorry to morbid) but the he still wouldn’t wife Franny, he’ll find a new wifey and Franny would have no choice but to deal with it because…… what else can she do.

She’s been riding for so long she might as well just chill and enjoy second best fo’evaaaaa. (Cardi B voice)

Guys use Franny to vent when their girl is giving them problems, they enjoy having a moan about their Mrs to their side girl because they know Franny will feed into their BS, giving them more ammo to think they’re right.

I can see it now, Franny like the Gargoyle she is will be like “Ahhh she’s acing babe I wouldn’t do that to you… she’s so immature, just leave her”  

Franny needs a lips sown together to be honest kmt.

But hold on, do you think Franny wont get her karma….Some guys are heartless and will drop Franny when they need space to concentrate on their ‘Family’

They’re not on loosing their wife for some dumb girl who takes orders 24-7, they need more than that.

They need a WOMAN, not a puppet.

Franny may cry for a while but the guy will be back in a few months maybe a year or so because she will ALWAYS be ready for settle, even if she has a partner.

The manipulation this man has conjured into this girl is unbelievable – It’s so strong that even he, himself is confused to how/why she’s so lost in his sauce.

I suppose its always nice to know you have a back up when shi*t hits the fan right? lol


So sidechicks…

Now that I’ve opened your eyes to some truth or embarrassed you for your slackness….How did you enjoy leftovers today?

Wise up and enjoy Valentines on the 14th okayyy, hopefully you wont be reading this next year with stress on your head.

God is watching you – Be wise lol


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